CHEESY FLIGHT ATTENDANT
IT'S A PLEASURE TO WELCOME YOU ABOARD
Orange you glad you found these Mach G sunglasses?! They're aviator frames. But that doesn't qualify YOU to fly the plane!!! This is Colby, your Cheesy Flight Attendant. Get it? Colby Jack?!?! That was a thinker. Psst! Everybody on staff knows you like to get high. In the air. By booking a plane ticket!!! These sunnies won't slip or bounce while we crash into a mountain. Kidding, kidding! Laugh a little, will ya?!?! Life is short. Really short, considering how drunk the pilot is right now. J/K! J/K! Geez!!!!
LOOK GOOD, FLY GOODR.
1 NO SLIP
We use special grip coating to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating.
2 NO BOUNCE
Our frame is flight-weight to prevent bouncing when running, biking, beasting, or exceeding speeds of Mach 5.*
*Not tested at hypersonic speed, but…we’re pretty sure.
3 ALL POLARIZED
The speed of light got nothing on you. These glare-reducing, polarized lenses with UV400 protection blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays.
4 ALL SPEED
An all new shape built to give you the ultimate speed advantage whether you're crushing beers or crushing your competition.
5 FREE MILE HIGH CLUB MEMBERSHIP
Included with purchase.
She oozes style and grace...
Nope, wait, that's cheese.
She oozes cheese.